Tree art compliment moves the body degree filling steps memory sights! Wind corrupts fields filled lifeforms noticing present breath! Antidotes correct fluids action communication artistically moving willpowers! The unseen graves imagination on band enlighten poor anguish! Night vision imagined day as birds was said never fly at night! Cars, boats, trains, and planes run field open uplifting the one unseen! Turntables, spay paints, and magnets motivate chemistry relationship never lost! Imprisonment which fail; never promote violence; embarrassment; truth unwanted! A tree is a tree and the deep waters unseen by man is imagination! Conversation between two people produce wind moving emotions within! We walk and force running, learning gifts told by the creator! Greed make pain; buying ten cans of peas, but needing two! New things whether material nor machine inhabited words from influential greatness! Entrepreneurship is individual comfort! Broken spirits will encourage salvage or saint! I had been through many difficulties as said earlier I am homeless now! I worked through my ailments which encourage me to keep focused and lined with positive prosperity! I let go of all negative improvements and allow my creator to design my true gift; individuality! A counselor advanced me to knowledge me of persons who discard my individuality on behalf of my once lived life! Understand negative personas maybe an act to embrace your positive influence Many as said before are not all considered positive, but are we filter as any man made filter! I enjoy my living even though my fear inhabit confusion I have learned fear is a human emotion. As the many waters of the Earth each person fear or emotions are of different depths! Knowledge of self will always gift you with your understanding, rather a dependence of someone else! You will fear when you are transforming to your new beginning but be aware you are maturing! A gifted individual inspiring gifts and talents of others! My knowledge states China produced the first currency which I gathered from Wikipedia! I was influence in my early recovery by a movie titled A Beautiful Mind! A complaint should be replaced giving a new pair of shoes and socks to funky feet! We all have feelings when we learn our true understanding we will contradict past sayings of negativity! Meaningless marriages, bullying, and prejudice is obsolete! Individuality produce one own mind, clothing, and gifts! We all walk on the ground and bend our necks to the sky, but creatively know shit our own shit! Imagination produce pain and failures which are deep conquers of forced movements! Art will enlighten every concrete fact once denied, but created to know the small sound! I used the memory of child when my teacher ask me to press the button when I heard the beep! I know you love you; we were created to!
Memory is how I write my work. A language I inherited in which I decide to speak with profession. I had decided to create my own language learning I had to speak my feelings. I must know why I am angry opposed to “I don’t know”! I had designed numerous ideas when considering my relationships. I became excellent understanding her. I will hear many ideas, but I must filter the idea to believe me! Once I will be told I love white bread and wheat is no good for me. When I am told Oatnut bread is greater than white bread I will enjoy one more. I enjoy fresh white bread squishing it in my grip. The bread becomes shiny and delicious. Rather, Oatnut bread is adventurous, healthy, and I don’t have to squish it. I was designed to be above or below normal! I love who I am and will mature as time allows! I learned there are different groups in this world. Some may have experienced what I have and mentally needed no treatment. Others maybe equipped with my ailment and design artistic avenues. We maybe man and woman, but each group has their own agenda. I fight hard never to take advantage of no one nor use or abuse anyone. Through my designed life I have noticed factors of some other designed lives. I understand some persons have difficulties hindering them. I believe I am blessed being able to be gifted with my outlook on life. There are many who thirst for answers and understanding whom pay for individual counseling whether a book or person. Television have created some great influence for many whom have influenced others by action. I decide against negative approach in a direct manner. I decided to encourage individuality. Individuality will highlight independence and encourage ones true being. Other than someone telling you to be a man then you react as you imagine what a man is; you will be a sect in which no one will control how you act. That was an example of something I experienced once, but now nothing will help me decide how I should act. I have seen some mistreated in my perspective. I say my perspective on behalf of not knowing whether the person decided to agree to the treatment! Truthfully spoken I know many are undermined for reasons of lack. In perspective, political members may agree on the country need, but by not knowing the needed direction is know as lack. No matter a person knowledge every person is to be treated importantly as to not being in a position of harm! I love myself and I love others, believing as treat others as I would treat myself! I believe if I would talk rudely about myself then simply leave me be, so I do others the same if the talk rudely about me. This is the reason I started blogging; I wanted affection when I was going through my known worst time (I still have tomorrow) and conversation of love would had been enough! I am happy to have gone through the terrible times overcoming into a mature man! I have much still to learn, but know a lot! The world runs in ways which seems very little can be accomplished, but an entrepreneur will find anyway that is possible and not given! I understand some are not getting the answers they need, and I hope to help you receive the answers by encouraging you to self!
I had disliked cigarettes young, but decided to smoke out of curiosity. I had attempted rolling grass out of the ground smh. I actually felt proud buying Newports and bragged on only smoking Black n Milds. I never enjoyed the smoke going into my eyes or suffocating as I attempted to use both hands. I hated going in the hospital or walmart after smoking due to the smell and taste in my mouth. Unsatisfied after rubbing my eyes receiving burning eyes from smoke residue on my fingers. Very uncomfortable after the baby cloths smelled of cigarette smoke or a child walked by or a baby in a stroller near by. I graduated to smoking my own made cigarettes, I was happy with the price and the blend! I then decided to smoke a carton within a day and a half. I was terrified at the least cough, sore throat or running! I would look at the truth commercials and had to force myself not to give a fuck. A home mental health counselor came over one day as the door was opened smoke engulfed the outside area of the doorway; the house was foggy as a soap opera dream. I quit for a year, but decided to smoke again. Well, the vape era came about and then I wasted money on smoke pens and ecigarettes while still smoking. I then found a heaven the mod! Vaping have been great delicious ejuice and delightful pleasure receiving nicotine! I will be able to only vape delicious flavors of ejuice! Enjoying desserts, candy, and fruits in steam form! My point of this story is I may am ignorant in deciding what I would like to do, but I will mature into what I love! I can always be traditional and eat solid blueberry cream pie or I can vape it and eat a more creative dessert! I know many people who smoke cigarettes for their reason alone, but my individual self will vape my ass off (not literally ass off). I had tried flavored cigars and cigarettes including cloves FAQ cigarettes ima vape! I love the idea of a person being themselves as long as, I can get away from a person who believes negativity is a bright answer! I hope you comprehended the previous sentence, since you’ve been reading this whole article I perceive you should! If you can enjoy your complained filled life (not meaning everyone) then you’ll love your life! I loved cigarettes in different ways at different periods of smoking. I had said I wanted a very long cigarette I could smoke for a long time. When I was told I smoke a lot I said, “Shit, I smoke”. I don’t think I need to clarify I love to vape! I want to get on tha major league and build my own vaping gear; you know an expensive mod, clear true flavor tank, coils and such! I am poor asf though, so that’s not working out at the moment! I will be there one year though trust and believe!
Hallucinations will mess life up! “What can I trust in to stay out of imprisonment”? Hallucinations will cause anxiety, depression, and insanity! My no understanding family, friends, and associates caused pain. I had no God nor Devil only the hallucinations to depend on. The sense of a figure who told me the episode was not real battled insanity. I had to find several things at certain periods to help me grasp on to reality. Guaranteed within an episode I could remember the material and coast back to life as I knew it. I had proved my point many of times holding on to the existence of me. I have forced my way through anxiety and depression, but I always have to remember things can get bad off. I always stay focused and don’t get complacent remembering that material to hold on to keeping me focused! The mind receive information 24 hours a day whatever is real is embedded in my mind no matter what new things I learn. Things that no being can take away not myself or anything else. I love vaping, but if vaping were a hallucination, I would stop vaping! I encourage you to really love yourself not any factor you have knowledge of, but you. Love you and be true to you cause you are the only thing you have. Enjoy some food and you rest!
A hypothesis purchase numbers of reproduced cells! Accounting numerous stained anguish.
An adjacent person satisfy peeled truth an act of reality. Above the clouds nor for aircraft below the clouds reality the same! Many not satisfied of basic accord; spaghetti made with pepperoni or hamburger or shrimp. Mockingbirds will defend the hatchlings knowing to survive is half the battle of defending them. I do not have wings and am much larger; I love my mental, body, and feelings which are my hatchlings! I’m ready as to doubtful belief always grateful to awesome inspirational outcomes!
A long day of easy work ended beginning a trip to the next town. This night ended with a gift to the next beyond, couple injured, and a beginning of some love. Secrets, lessons, and children were received through the love. Determination failed greatly; I was moved by the idea of true love. I would not give up, walking away was not permanent. I had ailment; considering the voiced words I love you I did not accept no as an answer. No matter the details of straight fuck your horse and carriage. My incompetent ass still brought a ring and acted out proposal. I was the laughing stock of Dade City! I then again was the fool six years later. Once again shove that carriage up your ass and that damn horse can trample on your dumb ass! This time seven years of insanity, half a carton of cigarettes a day, and malnutrition. I was worst the second time, but did not go to jail because of her! I also learned to be comfortable at work! Children classify me as biological daddy.
Do you hear voices? Do you believe people can read your mind? Do you feel like harming others? Multiple stays in the hospital and doctor visits. Attraction to multiple medications to strain out normalcy! Struggling with fear on top of fear. Killing brain cells to equip myself with the answer of what the fuck is going on. Pleading with God and the Devil to free me from this daily horrific living. Arguing with people to help me and receive the greatest fuck. I mean bigger than a carriage being shoved up my ass! As if imaginative relaxation happen while in the hands of the treacherous med care. I was born in a hospital and went home never to live in a cringing hospital!
Against the fuck happening in my environment, I enjoy everyday. Yes, much aggravation, but I make love to myself not as in stroke factor! I had to do what I needed to do, at the moment I’m homeless in a shelter with a constant fear my financial situation will never be secure. I have imagined no friends or wife in my future, but masturbate my mind until belief conquer my doubt! I have decided I will fuck evil until there is no option but to spew on itself. Leaving me to the beautiful glory of a motherfucker! There is no other person as important as myself! The Earth will turn whether animals are aboard or not!
I am aware of multiple concepts of spirituality. I have had glimpse inside the articles of organized designs of elevated freedoms. The bits of information provided particles which filled spaces within my functional brain. These particles equipped me the ease to recognize materials of great beliefs. I later received the knowledge reading and hearing only will bless false antidotes. There are many hidden jewels within one context even a lifetime itself! Exploring the mindful lifetime will always bless!
Believing not in the gray line of knowledge, lead me to inherent the strict black and white knowledge of matters. There is only few straight lines of love, and few bent lines of hate. The poisonous contradiction descended my computation of reality to a fearful atonement. I had experiences in which I questioned, “God or the Devil; the controlling spirit of my profane life?” I struggled with Christian dialect and mannerism. There was many misdirected views and understandings while I allowed detrimental negative influence. Televisions and radios spoke danger while wall people, I’ll name them today, spoke Armageddon. Children and winds help my mind visit dark places. I was trapped wanting to break out!
In obese hope of a healthy future which lasted for days on out, I plagued myself with treacherous positivity. I had a tease of what limits I had hoped to advanced from that a micro emotion elaborated an illuming of pleasure. I received enough advancement from my creator to keep the conquering ailment. A glaze of determination over played the distortion of pity. Family granted still water parables that sweetened my rainbow filled waterfall. I was destined to explore happiness that only evolved to joy! I can only read and hear with a foundation which none may ever destroy. I feel greater than all my previous existences, but reality only created one. One embryo, baby, child, boy, and man. Advancement only pertain maturity of basic facts. I completed one chapter to cry in a many of different ways! I love myself to only at a time hate myself. I were the no need to be on Earth since no one loved me. “Where is my wife or friend”? As many mistakes and misfortunes I had lead to myself I seen no reasoning. At my age fear tolerated my suspicion to feed constant strength. Still not enough, I a greedy habitant, will always build a preference. The sky will always be, but before Wright brothers the first humans seen planes!
A sleek transformation occurred in my nineteenth year of life. I began to receive thoughts which insisted of disturbing ideas. My life’s activities become detrimental. I became very ill exposing myself to a critical state of mind and existence. I left my home, overdrawing my bank account, and ran to my home state. My dear family member settled my defeat with calmness which included ingredients of his associates and medium grade blunt. I at first was uncomfortable, but not terrified. After the great ol TLC equipping my mind I became a paranoid mess. I ran and became so distorted I attempted to break into a home. Needless to say I was placed under arrest equipping charges that granted me 3 years felony probation.
In the great facility located in Salem County I became fearful with the convincing thought that my rival was located in the pod with me. I chose to act a role similar to Paul Vitti does in sing sing in the movie Analyze That. After awhile, I began word battling the dark world, predicting Armageddon, and deciphering my life. I also became convinced my stay at the correctional facility was to solve riddles to recieve my wife.
I was later diagnosed of the mental chemical imbalance known as paranoid schizophrenia. This new state of life was introduced around the same stained moment of 9/11. I became mentally issue free with treatment which did not last long due to my convenience of normal life desires. I ruined lives of friends, family, and relationships. This went on for years which today wish had not. I attempt many avenues to make happen what I wanted to happen not wanting to accept my life terms today is never tomorrow no matter what may reside from yesterday!
I am joyful to have equipped my life with greater outcomes. I enjoy my substance of life rather than battling defeat. I love myself rather than hoping someone would love me to love myself. I battle to influence and encourage positive treatment for mental health. Then there positively should be no imprisonment of lack of self appreciation!